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FROM THE DOCK

On a certain warm and starlit night

When people were far and I was near

I walked with the wind.

And when I’m nearly alone with the end of the dock

There is nothing but me, the sky and the river.

I lift my head high to look at infinity

And as understanding fades

I search for the meaning that my life must hold.

The man-made lights miles away, so secure and revealing,

But to me they are weakness against the light of the stars.

The sterling water reflects up and over

And interrupts the world with a vicious and broken circle.

The civilization of man is shown to me now

As I look down for the tattered and broken reflections

That the waves reject so calmly and easily.

I can sense below me the turning of the Earth

And I can't help feeling on top of the world.

DIRTY BENJAMIN

In your mind is your room

In your room, your jail

Inside your mouth the elephant's trunk.

What is this you need to unlock the door?

When your arms are your toys

You are really all at ease

But you still must sweat away

All the ice from the puppet's paw.

Now you must fall silently

You knew it couldn't last

So when you're too frightened to stare

Remember not to repeat your escape.

UNTITLED

I met the idols of youth and rose upon my raft

and floated until I reached the extremity of height.

While at the top, the very frightening thoughts turned

toward a reflection of a clown. Then I began to pick

the diamonds; I wanted many bushels. I was attacked

at the prime by a snake whose posterior started at the

very bottom. I laughed as I screamed. As I was being

devoured feet first, a large parrot whose spread had

no equal picked upon me and lifted me onto a large

canvas. The parrot flew to the foot and an inverted

Y took to me. It was the most beautiful thing until

suddenly I remembered my diamonds. I crawled back

and secretly loaded the diamonds upon my raft, smiling

with a depressing anxiety. I then coasted swiftly back

to the beginning _ the scum of age.

MY GARDEN?

As I'm walking up to you

You always shout so loud

That you will never owe me

For you have never promised a thing.

I just can't stop at that

For I know what is meant for,

And that is for a garden; a garden,

Which you can't say shouldn't be.

With everything all building up

It is so very hard to get by

With just the everlasting anxieties.

Without the garden I am left

To a place where success never grows

And green is a color never seen.

Let me tell you how it is so,

Such things that seem so proud,

But that never really rescue us

From the spirit of the mind.

If only my thoughts didn't grow

Within the hope of my consciousness

Just to die with the first blossom

Never to bother me forever again.

So where might my garden lie,

With its beauty and fame?

You ask why it should be important

Well, I don't really know exactly

Except that it means my life

Right within the realms of truth.

Oh, where is my beautiful garden?

ENDLESS ECSTASY

I've been standing and waiting for so long

I just can't imagine the length of such a song.

The words I've heard clearly yet misunderstood,

For the concentration it takes isn't in my mood.

Now and then a symbol will strike me hard,

And make me stop waiting and keep my guard.

I wish I knew what ideas I'm looking for _

Maybe just a way to unlock some unknown door.

There can't be any escape from this for me;

I just have to stay, and wait and see

For I'm getting older and an answer must come soon

It’s getting late and everyone will be on the moon.

Sometimes I think I have found the right way

But it never looks the same the next day.

I'll always keep listening until I die --

I just can't help moaning with a sigh.

When I think how hard I’ve made it on myself

I might as well be thrown on a musty old shelf.

IT'S ALL WITHIN

1.0

Now I have seen our flowers grow,

But I was unexpectant.

I had done what I could

But never could show you

The visions of the sun.

The man of the clouds had always been weak

But he kept you from yourself.

And after he saw

How almost clear he was,

He let the light shine through.

Although the bloom has brought us close,

There is still the darkness to watch.

You have to face the burden of life,

So don't count on me at night.

2.0

I see you have heard from yourself;

So I have lost at last.

Now I must tell you honestly

That your kinship will surely wilt.

I can't help it _ I come and go as I please

For I am part of life.

3.0

Oh, leave us alone you features of gloom.

We have finally found the entangled seeds

That allow the smile outside.

How can I hope and long for the day

That the sun will eternally shine?

The blankets of gray that are hidden now,

I know will reappear and go,

So when these patches cover me

I will fight for the sight of light.

And I hope before we say good-bye

We have left some seeds to grow.

INTO THE RAIN

I wanted to be part of something

For I couldn't stand to be part of me.

But when you're alone and cold

It takes a while to receive the light.

I began to beg and lost myself

I began to pretend and tripped over myself

Here I was touched but could not feel

And I lost what I had

Because I couldn't see myself.

It ended as it started

And I didn't care at all.

The Downpour

Now I had the confidence

And I wanted some respect

But I had none to give you

For I still pretended blindness.

MR. ROBINSON

To soar the eyes over emptiness

Should be left to the end.

But here, where necessity reigns,

It seems right to waste such moments.

It is not that nothing is said

Because surely that knowing means something.

But when time is somehow lost aloud,

I cannot bring myself to see.

A small portion is good and touches me.

The other is large and pertains to nothing

That now pertains to me.

But that is not the question

For I'm sure gain is made from anything.

But for me to attend must draw interest

And to blindly pretend emotion to this

Is surely an unwise imitation

TO A TREE

It must be strange to just flow with nature,

To come and go with the seasons,

To stand there with such a spiteful indifference.

Emotion; are you really without feeling?

Can’t you feel the suffering of other beings?

How long have you been here?

Longer than me perhaps,

But what have you experienced?

You couldn’t know what I know.

But what do I know -- certainly no truth.

Perhaps you are more aware of truth than us.

What do you feel when the wind blows,

Or when you sway in the autumn wind

And your leaves plummet to the Earth?

Do you feel sad?

What do you think of me sitting here,

Pondering all these eternal thoughts?

Could you be laughing at me?

It is so peaceful here; you are lucky.

To think you could have been born elsewhere,

And maybe cut down for human needs,

Or for nothing at all.

You seem so serene and secure,

Knowing that someday you will die and fall,

Returning to nature,

Your home before your birth.

It must be strange to just flow with nature,

Maybe someday I will join you there.

BEING ALONE ...

Oh, it’s fun to be alone

At least when you want to be it is

And even better is walking while alone

Walking alone can be really strange

Everything that happens, everything you do

It’s all happening to you, and only you.

The crossing of the tracks at night

Being alone, the atmosphere is dull

And unexpectedly, even here I am alone

Reed-Haughton cars, Pure for cigarettes

Now I reach confrontation, oh how awful

Change, four quarters please, three or five the reply

A plastic laugh and me and my Camels into the night

Less than a moment and a relationship begins

He was old, short; long white hair, and most important

He was crazy.

Inside he was young, all through out there was peace

He was crazy, but he was real … and he was beautiful

I would give up my aloneness for him

But he refused and I was sad

Peace, brother, and good-bye forever.

Sunrise B. to the right -- much less light, good

Darkness is so much better with aloneness

It attempts to cover the evil of total humanity.

Three blocks seemed like nothing

And I didn’t even know to care

Finally came John, drunk, depressed and open

A bad day at the pro-am and the journey ends

Good-bye, John, better luck tomorrow.

Down to the gym to face the masses

Leave it IRJC basketball to draw a crowd.

All those people, it scares me.

Walking in, there are just a few I know

A lot of freaks.

Perry, Mike, Pam, and Mary Jo

Half-time it’s Birkofer

I used to ride to church with him

Back when he was young and I wasn’t me

He was receptive, surprisingly,

But now that I think about it,

He was always a nice booze freak.

Second half, and I rap and wrap

I really had a wonderful time.

VISIONS OF STOP AND GO

Coming and going, going and coming

The same sights, the same confrontations every day

The sun is so bright, the nights so beautiful

Life seems like a fantasy of love.

Some people are black … some are white

And others are invisible and nothing at all.

It is easy for the real people to love

But what about life and living and dying

Can this fantasy be made material to us?

Can this love be carried to the front?

Sometimes being alone can bring you down

But that is only for a while

Soon happiness returns and, well, what about anxiety?

Things are too good to be a part of us

Can life and love really be tied together securely?

Everything seems to be getting bored with itself

Something is happening and it is doing something

Something, something, something: what is happening?

Everything is moving around and around, searching.

Love is happening and happening and it is doing love

Love, love, love: what is happening?

Love is searching for reality

RIGHT, TO THE END OF TIME

Sometimes,

To begin can be the end.

Why then,

Does today always continue tomorrow

But never find the east horizon.

I wonder,

Why living can continue on

And never really care how.

Many instances come and go

That seem so close to the line,

But they adapt and refine themselves

Oh, back to the contentedness of life

Sometimes,

Knowing the beginning can hurt --

Because the end becomes so real

But to lay down in fear

And succumb to the put-on death

That sometimes

Begins before the beginning

Should never happen to anyone.

TO STUMBLE UPON SOMETHING

I start to see my visions of dusk

And wonder where the day has gone

But also where the darkness has been

And what they have meant to me now.

At the rise there was a sense of wonder

Only to penetrate into the falling tales

That tell you how it has been before

And how they mean the way could always be.

Two faces meet and they pass in as they shy away

But they will always remember the time

Especially when they are really alone and afraid:

Alone on an island, begging not to remember.

Two hawks meet in a sky that is clear

And show the instinct that demands their reaction.

They fight -- and when it seems forgotten …

It is remembered, as the dark gray clouds form

And the winds and the rains prevent the past.

And they feel the need for togetherness,

To help and to learn and to survive.

Sometimes the dawn is very bright

And may let you know how life should be

But then you need a stepping-stone

To get to where you feel at ease.

Here the light begins to fade so quickly

As you forget that you are not content,

Or is it that you do not care at all.

Maybe this is not the answer you seek.

Freedom is an evading haze of transparency

That forever begs to become of sight.

Is this not enough to draw you in

As you see yourself winning, and sometimes losing.

All it takes is one of the many tries

To stumble and tangle to reach its light,

And not be satisfied with just that light.

Let the others reach the outside --

So drop to the bottom to hold the edges!

Now the job is half done.

You can feel now what the waves say

In the day when the light is gone.

Ahead where there should be sandy shore

There is unexpected notions of the unknown.

At least now you are trying to see

What the day and the darkness

Have meant before.

CHAOS

I, a man, in a world of oppression,

See a hope of freedom,

But also disbelief.

I see a faith in a god,

A god that has created good,

But also evil.

I also see a faith in humanity,

A humanity that will be righteous,

Though now I see tyranny.

I see many governments,

Infected with corruption and greed,

Obsessed with inhumane power.

I see many, many movements,

Bent on the freedom of the people,

But can offer only more ideas.

I see the entire human race,

In complete confusion,

Wondering which way to go.